SlabXL Inc. Not so much a gang as a…..questionably legitimate start up, SlabXL Inc. seeks to spread the sale of SlabXL: A chemically induced high-protein starch (Or something or other) brick. Their leader, CEO, and Lord of the Iron Breakfast: Chuck Hardslab, seeks to corner the market and control the breakfast of every single hive dweller and ganger in the underhive. SlabXL Inc. are not like most other gangs, their goals are not necessarily based in criminal gains, but in market-based growth, every gang defeated is simply a ‘merger’ into the SlabXL brand, every Guilder paid off is a “sponsorship deal” and every champion slain is just “reducing the competition.” SlabXL Inc. aspires to higher echelons of Hive society, seeking to turn their brand into a multi-million credit business, and they’ll Snap a few bones, Crack(le) some skulls and Pop some shots if it means getting a ‘leg-up’ on the competition. ’Ave you ‘ad your SlabXL?

Officially, Nosh and Scran are SlabXL Quality Assurance — but everyone knows what that really means. Their job isn’t taste-testing so much as territory-testing. Born in the vats of the original SlabXL Foundry, the twins were the first to survive Chuck Hardslab’s “experimental taste trials.” They emerged stronger, louder, and hungrier than any gangers before them — two slabs of chem-infused muscle, bred to chew through plasteel and punch through armour.

Officially, Nosh and Scran are SlabXL Quality Assurance — but everyone knows what that really means. Their job isn’t taste-testing so much as territory-testing. Born in the vats of the original SlabXL Foundry, the twins were the first to survive Chuck Hardslab’s “experimental taste trials.” They emerged stronger, louder, and hungrier than any gangers before them — two slabs of chem-infused muscle, bred to chew through plasteel and punch through armour.

The junior reps of SlabXL Inc. Gryndr & Stigg are little more than walking advertisements for the product, constantly shoving samples into the mouths of captives before beating them half to death with spud-jackers. They spread the name of SlabXL through terror, graffiti, and breakfast violence.

Interns of SlabXL Inc. Gryndr & Stigg are little more than walking advertisements for the product, constantly shoving samples into the mouths of captives before beating them half to death with spud-jackers. They spread the name of SlabXL through terror, graffiti, and breakfast violence.

The first to “beta-test” the SlabXL formula. Cliff and Nuggz are laced with the stuff, giving them swollen, veiny physiques and wild bursts of strength. They’re also dangerously unstable, sometimes collapsing into food comas mid-battle. But when they’re awake, they’ll pulp a sumpkroc with their fists.

Brick handles “mergers and acquisitions” with a grin and a a huge axe, specializing in the hostile kind—tracking down gang champions, erasing them from the board, and folding their assets into the operation. SlabXL, the steroid-packed starch-protein bar he chews like concrete rations, fuels his twitchy, towering frame and unrelenting aggression. Negotiation isn’t in his vocabulary—only liquidation.

Armed with a combat shotgun, Mack’s role is marketing. By which he means putting holes in anyone who refuses to buy crates of SlabXL. He also claims to be working on “SlabXL Lite,” a protein bar that has fewer carbs and doesn’t make your heart explode after eating one every morning for a week (though the rest of the gang thinks that’s heresy).

The first to “beta-test” the SlabXL formula. Cliff and Nuggz are laced with the stuff, giving them swollen, veiny physiques and wild bursts of strength. They’re also dangerously unstable, sometimes collapsing into food comas mid-battle. But when they’re awake, they’ll pulp a sumpkroc with their fists.