CODEX: IMPERIUM — SCRAP-UNIT DESIGNATION MINIMUS-ERROR-404

Auspex-Anklebiters

Status: Non-Standard STC Pattern — Abominable Variant
Classification: Ratling Skitarii (Unapproved)
Origin: Forge World ███████
Current Location: Necromunda Underhive
Threat Level: Low-Altitude, High-Annoyance

Origination Protocols

Archmagos Vexilus Cogfumble the Unwise initiated Project MINIMUS-ERROR-404 after asking the forbidden question:
“What if Skitarii… but smaller?”

Cogfumble believed shorter soldiers would reduce sacred machine-oil consumption by 0.0000003%. This theory was not peer-reviewed. It was not allowed to be peer-reviewed. It was immediately sealed under Tech-Heresy Category: “Please Stop.”

Bio-Augmentation Summary

Ratling “volunteers” (bribed with snacks) received:

• servo-legs shorter than their original legs
• auspex arrays calibrated only for ankle-height targets
• recoil-dampened carbines after early prototypes were launched backwards
• cogitators that misidentified shins as “high-value weak points”
• cranial ports labelled “TEMPORARY” (they were not temporary)

The resulting units were declared:
“Operational, if one lowers expectations significantly.”

Demonstration Failure Report

During the unveiling ceremony, the cohort:

• swarmed the audience
• chewed through three sacred power conduits
• disabled the lights
• stole all available snacks
• declared themselves “Skitarii-Prime, but fun-sized”

The Forge World Tribunal ruled the project:

• heretical
• embarrassing
• extremely bitey

Cogfumble was ordered to decommission the prototypes. He instead loaded them into a cargo hauler labelled “Definitely Not Abominations” and launched them into space.

Necromunda Impact Event

The hauler crashed into the Underhive, where the ratling Skitarii emerged:

• sparking
• confused
• hungry
• and already forming a union

They established themselves as a scrap-unit, repairing each other with:

• bent rivets
• scavenged servo-bits
• stolen tools

Now they operate as a bounty hunter crew, earning creds to:

• upgrade their junk-augmetics
• buy snacks
• avoid Mechanicus retrieval servitors

Tactical Analysis

Strengths:

• vent infiltration
• ankle-height ambush capability
• uncanny snack detection
• fearless against anything taller than 1.2 metres

Weaknesses:

• everything above 1.2 metres
• ladders
• standard-height control panels
• being noticed

Imperial Warning

“If encountered, do not engage. They will bite your ankles. They will steal your tools. They will fix each other with your tools.”
— Skitarii Marshal ███████, last recorded transmission